Thomas Fink and Maya Mason
The Fine Print
This product will
achieve symptom
relief if
accompanied by
all necessary
surgeries. Take
this medicine
with a like-minded
friend. If your
current dose feels
insufficient to
induce longed
for elation, fear
not: the elixir has
been engineered
to increase
individual demand.
Permeation of
this vapor throughout
your domicile may
subject you to unwanted
particulate intrusion.
This serum has
sidestepped the CIA’s
empirical reach.
Though known
to induce a gentle
stupor, this is not
certified as a remedy
for pretraumatic
stress disorder.
Our corporation bears
no liability if the
shield provides no
security against alien
abduction. Those ingesting
this pill must concede
to a lifetime ban on
submarine and outer
space travel. Earth
to cognitive slobs:
failure to read
and patiently absorb
instructions will
render this
placebo ineffectual.
